Birthing in a hot tub? Cool!

I've been hearing (and reading) about water birthing and its advantages or benefits - specifically for the baby and mother. Immediately, I thought, what about me?

What are my benefits?

I envisioned relaxing in the tub with my wife, naked (you know, as a show of support!), listening to some soothing music, perhaps indulging in an adult style beverage and then through such a harmonic setting the baby would quietly, painlessly slip out; much like emerging from a covered slide at the playground. I can even picture the kid coming out with arms extended and a "Weee" sound being made from such an exhilarating experience.

Of course, I was wrong. Sure, soothing music is playing and the mom has the freedom to shift positions during labor to mitigate the pain and discomfort, but what about the baby? Well, benefits for him exist as well. Turns out the transition is less drastic than the typical 'plucked from a warm bed in a dark room and thrown naked into the snow at broad daylight approach' otherwise known as traditional birth.

But when I discovered that water birthing required natural delivery, Kristen (who was originally open to the idea) gave me that "I know you have dumb moments, but are you freakin' kidding me!" look that said "let me pluck a basketball out your you-know-what without pain relief".

So, water birthing is out. Oh yeah, no beverages are allowed either.

And I was so looking forward to wearing my new swim trunks!